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There has been a lot of stuff going on in my life lately and the common theme that keeps coming up is that I am not in control.  No matter how hard I try to control things or act like I have everything under control, I am realizing more and more that God is in control and I need to depend on Him to work things out in His timing.  It's not that I forgot this, but apparently, God thought I needed some reminders!


Right now, there are two main things on my heart and on my mind:

One is that Papa Bear has been without a job now for two months.  We are very thankful for the freelance-type of work he has been doing, but God has yet to show us which door He is opening next in regards to full-time employment.  Not knowing what He has in store for us is not an easy place to be.   

One thing I can control is how we spend our "extra" time with Papa Bear. The girls and I have been cherishing having Papa Bear around more often.  They especially love when they get to see him in the morning.  

Also, Papa Bear and I have been trying to be more intentional with how we spend time together after the girls go to bed.  We have actually been having "date nights" in the backyard.  Sometimes we have a special snack or treat, but usually we are just talking.  It's nice to be outside in the quiet of the night, under the stars just hanging out.  I know we won't be able to have late nights once Papa Bear gets a full-time job, so I am really enjoying every date we have.

The other big thing weighing heavy on my heart is the fact that Pap-poo's house will be going up for sale this month.  (The year anniversary of her death is also approaching.)  I know this is something that has to be done, but that doesn't make it any easier.  This is the house my mom grew up in, the house I was raised in and the house where we lived with Sweet Girl for the first week of her life.  So many precious memories have been made in that house over the years--for generations.

This also means that my parents have to move.  Again, I have no control over this.  I can't do much to help except pray--which I have been doing a lot of!  Prayer is essential!  God just has not shown my parents where He wants them to move yet.  I know that He has the most "perfect, fun, comfy"  place for them to live where we will create new memories and we pray this every night.

Needless to say, July is going to be a month of uncertainty or to give it a positive-spin, adventure.  I trust with all of my heart that God will work everything out and provide for all of us in His timing and there is nothing I can do about it in my own power.  These life-changes are definitely growing me as a person as I am someone who does not like nor desire huge change in my life.  I am a planner and like to know what is happening next.  I am a helper and a doer who likes to have an end goal in sight.

So, through all of this, I am cherishing family moments more than ever, being more intentional in how I spend my time, focusing on the things that truly matter in life and living more in the moment.  Each day is special and we never know when it might be our last or the last of a loved one.

I am not in control nor will I ever really be in control of things in my life and you know what?  I'm learning to be more okay with that.

I'd love to hear how God is working on you and in your life!








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Jen
6/30/2013 20:22:32

Ever since I found out another child was coming into my family I've been telling my dad that he needs to visit us instead of me packing all of us up and driving to him. He's retired, my mother is now in a nursing home, so he has very little responsibility. After the baby came, he said it was just too hard to visit as he spends hours each day with my mom. I was still upset because he always expects me to come there. Then he took a road trip and I was furious. Determined not to visit him until he learned his lesson. Not more than a month later, we learned that my dad had a half sister that he didn't know about. His dad has a previous marriage that didn't end well and his daughter stayed with the ex-wife. My dad can sort of remember hearing about the sister when he was a teen, but he never heard again and completely forgot. Her daughter wrote a book about her mom (my dad's half-sister) and came to my hometown to meet my dad (along with her 2 sisters). Just like that, my dad has 3 nieces. It made me sad that he never knew this half-sister, she passed away almost 20 years ago. I needed to be reminded of how important family is. And I'll be visiting my dad this coming weekend and promised him I'd finish as much of a family tree as I can.

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The Master's Daughter
7/5/2013 18:18:24

Jen, thank you so much for sharing how God is working on you and in your life! It's amazing how fast our lives can change--sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. I hope you had a blessed time with your father and got a lot done on your family tree. What a gift you can give your family by doing that!

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